Let's lighten up the mood over here because I feel that the atmosphere on this blog has been so depressing and low lately and I need to reflect on the things God's put on my heart this month. Obviously, the way to reflect happiness is to start by talking about anxiety.
This month has actually been really amazing for me. God has reignited and placed new dreams on my heart, evolving the dreams I had before and giving me new ones to pursue. If you know me, you know that I love to dream, plan, imagine and create things. This month has also been a struggle because I realised that I've been 'fake happy' for a long time and it's something that you can't discern until you've experienced real happiness again, so it's been sad to see how much I was missing and how unhappy I really was before. The anxiety amongst it all is that I think that it's not going to last and, eventually, I'm going to go back to being 'fake happy'. I think that deep down, everyone has this fear somewhere, the fear that the good is going to come to an end and you'll go back into a darker, helpless place. In all honesty, I'm deeply afraid of that and if I were to go back, I don't think that I'd get through it this time around. It's hard but I believe and trust that God wouldn't take me through anything that I can't handle, I don't know what is going to happen but I'm enjoying living in the moment knowing that I've placed all my worries and anxiety in the safest hands there are.
So, back to reflecting on happiness. Well, I don't think I've ever asked anyone to wait for the next post to find out more, but that's what I'm doing now. I think it'll be great to explain it over a few posts rather than one, I'll get to talk in further detail and it'll be fun and great and I can't wait and it's so exciting, for me anyway. On another note, I've always wanted to move some of my blog topics over to YouTube but haven't because I really hate hearing, seeing and watching myself in videos. However, I'm considering it again so watch this space (maybe).